A Comedian gets Re-incarnated as a Goldfish

Contrasts: --- break ---

A Comedian gets Re-incarnated as a Goldfish.
(A day in the life of his companion also a goldfish) --- break ---

"Knock! Knock!"
"Heard it."
"Yeah on a wooden door."
"Look you do realise this is a goldfish bowl,
Not the Hollywood bowl,"
"Your point is?"
"Absolutely nothing, merely being ironic,"
"You should see a doctor about that."
"Yep I could use some heavy painkillers, you're killing me!"
"Did I tell you about the time on stage in New York."
"Yes. A thousand times."
"Three men walk into a bar"
"Oh for arms to hold a club,
To club you to death with."
"...two escape with minor injuries"
"Stop!"
"Why are you squirting water at me?"
"Because it is the only thing round hear you can throw."
"So are you saying you don't like my jokes?"
"Yes!"
"You will like this one."
"Please, I beg, no!"
"What is the difference between a prince and a plant?"
"Where is a cat when you need one?"
"Why do you keep trying to jump out of the water?"
"Because I do!"
"But you will kill yourself."
"That's the first sensible thing you have said all day."